Three Years Ago

Three years ago on the 22nd we lost our baby, Daisie. You would think after all this time I wouldn't miss her as much, but in all honesty, I miss her just as much now as I did when she passed.

I love you sweet baby girl. I can't wait to see you again on the other side.

Daisie

Two years ago my dog, Daisie, passed away. I've been told that time heals all wounds, but in this case, I'm not so sure. I've experienced a lot of loss in my lifetime, but losing her, was one of the worst. She was my companion, my best friend and my four-legged child for many years and when she died, it definitely left a big hole in my heart. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her and wish that she was still with us. I don't think that will change. Ever.

Anyway, today will be my day that I'll actually allow myself to be a little weepy, so I'll not be around much. I'll be hugging up to my husband and our other little four legged children and cherishing every moment we all have together, but there will always be someone that's missing.

We love and miss you, Daisie. Forever.



I can't believe it has been a year

It was exactly one year ago today when we lost our eleven year old sheltie, Daisie. Most of you know that we now have a sweet girl named Lily, whom we love dearly, but it doesn't ease the pain from the loss of losing Daisie any less.
It's crazy to think of how much we become attached to our pets. In all honesty, Daisie and Lily are almost like our kidlets. My husband and I will not be blessed with children, but we will always have the four-legged variety. I guess that is one of the reasons why I've (we've) taken Daisie's death so hard this year.
I know in some ways I'll always grieve for her. She was my constant companion for so many years, I know I'll always love and miss her.
I hope this year will be easier.

Here's to a Brighter and Happier New Year!

Happy New Year! Don't you just love his smile?? So Sexy!

I know I'm a couple of days late in posting this phrase, so I apologize for it's tardiness. For the past couple of weeks, Chris and I have been homebodies. We did go out to eat on New Years Eve, but otherwise we celebrated it at home together quietly. Neither one of us really wanted to go out this year. 2009 was a very difficult year for both of us, and both of us were ready to see the New Year start.

I want to take a moment and thank all of my friends who have left me a thoughtful message about the loss of Daisie. That meant the world to me. It's been very hard for us to come to grips with, but we're getting better. I still have moments that I forget that she's gone and I look for her. Those are the worst because then reality sinks in and I remember that she's gone. We've decided to look into adopting a sheltie who needs a good home. Both of us are missing our girl, and we think this will be a good way for us to cope with her loss. Thank you again, for your compassion, friendship and support. It means a lot to me and I'll never forget it.

Now on a more positive note, I'm getting ready to start writing again. I've taken a couple of weeks off, and I'm just about ready to get back on the horse, so to speak. I'm not sure which story I'll work on first, but I'll know more once I get started on it.

In the past few days I've read some great books. The Best Gift by Shawn Lane was great! I fell in love with one of the heroes...Malcolm is such a sweetheart! Whew! he's so sexy and humanly complicated. God, I loved him! Let's all pray that Shawn will continue to grace us with updates on her lovable characters. I'm hoping she might even continue Malcolm and Dusty's story someday. I would love to see how everything comes together for them.
Shawn is still the best at writing about characters that I absolutely fall for. If you haven't read The Best Gift yet, do yourself a favor and read it! It started my New Year off great!

I also read Silver and Gold by Devon Rhodes. I've been following Devon's blog now for a few weeks and I'm always entertained by it. She's very personal and favors us with lots of sexy Eye Candy when she can. I really enjoyed Silver and Gold. Abe was a scene stealer to me. So cute and sexy! I know Devon had a blast writing about him! I'm hoping that she's going to write more about Abe and Geoff...surely she wouldn't tease us with that short novella about them!

Here's to everyone having a great week! I know that better times are ahead for all of us! See you soon!

My Daisiemae

We've had a lot of loss this year. We've lost beloved family and friends. I wasn't prepared for the loss we had this morning.

Ten and a half years ago I decided to get a dog. My mother had recently bought a Shetland Sheepdog, and she was the cutest thing I had ever seen. When I noticed that there was an ad in the paper selling three month old Shelties for the right price, I immediately called and made an appointment to check them out. I dragged my cousin along with me and we hightailed over a hundred miles away to look at these dogs.

I had always had good luck with male dogs, so I had decided that I was better suited for a male than a female. When we arrived at our destination and the breeder took us over to the puppies, I had four of them to chose from. I immediately grabbed the male and started petting on it. My cousin reached down and grabbed the runt of the bunch. She was obviously terrified of him because she shook like a leaf, but as he stroked her baby soft fur she became relaxed and settled down. Even though I had the male dog in my arms, my attention kept going over to the puppy my cousin was holding. She looked at me with these big brown eyes and my heart was lost in that instant.

I put down the male dog, grabbed her out of my cousins arms and the rest was history.

I named her Daisiemae and she has been my constant companion throughout the past almost 12 years. We've been through a lot together. Through good and bad times, I've known that Daisie was the one thing I could depend on. Even when I met my husband for the first time, I knew if he didn't have Daisie's approval he would not be the one for me. Lucky for Daisie and I, it was love at first sight for both of them.

She's been a huge part of who I've been in the past several years. When I couldn't think of a chatname or an identity for goodreads, Daisie's name came to mind. I've been known more for being Daisiemae than I am my own name and that's been fine with me.

She was my shadow. Wherever or whenever I got up and went, she was there following me. She was my best friend, protector and the child that my husband and I could never have.

Daisiemae has had kidney problems for the past year. As an eleven year old Sheltie, there really wasn't much we could do for her, except love her and keep her as comfortable as possible. I noticed that last week she stopped eating. I didn't think much of it until the past 72 hours. Her body started to shut down and I kept by her side the whole time.

This morning about four a.m. Daisie had a horrible seizure. All I could do was hold her and help her through it. When Chris came home from work at six, I knew her time was coming to an end. He picked her up, told her he loved her and how much he would miss her, and left the room. I had always heard that dogs wait or go off somewhere so they can die alone. She looked up at me with eyes that said, "I'm tired, Momma. Is it time for me to go?" I kissed her and told her it was okay to let go. She'd been the best child we could have ever had. She'd done us proud and I would think of her everyday until I took my last breath. I told her that the loved ones we lost were waiting for her, and that she was needed there. I kissed her one more time and walked out of the room. I peeked in less than two minutes later and she was gone.

We wrapped her up in her favorite blanket with her favorite toy and buried her at her favorite place in the backyard.

I'm overwhelmed with grief right now. I know time heals all wounds, but my heart is truly broken. I thought we had more time with our girl. She would have been 12, January 9th, and I was really looking forward to this birthday.

This Christmas is going to be sad, but she would want us to do our best to enjoy it. That was the way she was. She brought joy and happiness to all of the people who got to know her.

She was my heart. She was my protector. She was my Daisiemae and I'll miss her.

Home at Last!

I'm finally feeling better. October was a difficult month for me and my family, but we're doing what we can to pick up the pieces and get through it.
Ash is doing better. She's feeling better. Watching her go through what she has this past month humbles me. She's amazing.
Since Snow White wasn't able to trick or treat on Halloween, Ash dressed Snow White up grabbed a big bag of candy, and went to different houses in her neighborhood and took Snow White on a late trick or treating expedition. Ash provided the homeowner the candy, Snow White got to experience Trick or Treating for the first time and the home owners were dazzled by my charming niece. Ash said it healed her in many ways to see Snow White become so happy.
I thought that was really a great idea.

I've finally made it home. I'm currently parked on the couch. I feel better, but I'm still not well yet. Chris was glad to see me home, even Daisie was happy that her Momma came home. Apparently Daddy doesn't give her as many treats as Momma does, so she's ready for Momma to spoil her rotten again.

I didn't write any this week. UGH! I just felt too miserable, but I plan on writing my heart out next week since I'm feeling better. I'm excited about my book, Got Mistletoe?, to be released next month. Dreamspinner Press hasn't given me a release date yet. When they do, I'll make sure and post it as soon as I can.

I'm hoping that this week will be a good one for everyone. Take care!

I love Autumn

I didn't do what I set out to do today. I should have used my time wisely and worked on my latest book, but instead I ended up doing nothing but watch television, sit outside and go out of my way to irritate my husband. :)
The weather here has been spectacular. Mid 60's which I love, and the leaves are starting to turn into those burnt oranges, yellows and reds that are so mesmerizing to look at. I wish the weather would stay like this. I've never been a summer or winter weather fan. Autumn and Spring are definitely my favorite seasons. I found myself sitting outside enjoying the crisp air and the company of my husband, when I should have been writing. *sigh*
Maybe I'll do better tomorrow.
I can't believe that tomorrow is Sunday! Time always goes so quick when you're having fun! Hopefully everyone else has had a great weekend, too!
I thought I would share a picture of our girl! She loves Autumn, too! The weather is perfect for her to sit outside and watch the world go by.